Everything Is God's Work

I felt confident applying for the Toronto City Mission (TCM) Summer Internship because I believed I could do well in it. When I first heard about TCM and read the job description, I thought it was a perfect fit for me due to my experience working with children. However, during the internship training, I realized my initial confidence was just arrogance.

The biggest challenge was the language barrier. I had lived in Korea all my life and had only been in Canada for six months when the internship started. Even though I aimed to practice English, the camp was a real life situation where I had to jump right into it. I had many doubts during the three weeks of camp preparation. I struggled with whether or not I had the qualifications to serve these children and if I could effectively communicate God's Gospel to them in English. Before I could be sure about my abilities, the first day of camp arrived.

What I realized at the beginning of camp was that these kids' personalities weren't as challenging for me as I thought they would be, and I was grateful for that. I struggled to connect with the kids deeply enough to share the Gospel with them, because of my language limitations. Unlike the confident me before the camp started, my confidence was at rock bottom. However, I believe if I was lazy yesterday, I can focus on being a little more diligent today. If my teaching was a little lacking yesterday, I can fix it today. I can be focused on improving myself day by day because my language and my relationship with the children won’t change overnight. I used to compare myself to other interns who had already built deep relationships with the children and felt jealous. But I tried to improve each day, preparing diligently for my lessons and praying for God's guidance.

I have been preparing for weeks, creating a script and practicing dozens of times. I've been practicing various simple questions to continue the conversation with children every day. And I would pray to God every day: "God, open my mouth. Give me the language and courage to share the gospel with them.” I revised and revised, preparing for how I could show the kids the amazing love of God in a fun way.

Finally, on the day of my Bible lesson, I'll never forget the look in their eyes. They listened to the Bible story with a twinkle in their eyes. Their responses were amazing as I made eye contact with each and every one of them and answered their questions. And then, I realized that even with my lack of abilities, God could use me to share His Gospel with them.

During park activities, some kids seemed disinterested, but they still mentioned God's creations showing that they were absorbing God's love. 'Oh, this is a tree made by God!’ ‘This is grass made by God!’ ‘This is an amazing creation of God'. These children are seeing, hearing, and feeling God's love as I make it known, even if they don't think they are.

I realized that I couldn't achieve anything on my own in this camp. It was all about God's work, and I just had to obey and continue doing it.

““He has saved us and called us to a holy life not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.””

— 2 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭9‬

This verse reminds me that God's grace and purpose are more important than anything I've done.

I feel like I'm just going through the day by day, but when I look back, I can see how my faith has grown, and my relationship with the children has deepened. God has been growing me without me even realizing it.

Now, my mission is to move forward in expectations of what God will do through me each day.

Our God Is Intentional

If I have learned anything from working with Toronto City Mission, it has been the importance of being intentional. During training we were taught that to get to know the kids at Kingston-Galloway, we would need to intentionally plan, pray, and put into practice the kinds of characteristics and attributes God commands us to display in His word. This idea of intentionality has also been very important in how I approach my relationship with God. The more I learn to seek God intentionally, the more I can love the kids like He does. I first learned that in order to be intentional at camp, I needed to understand at least some of the ways God is intentional. I found that God is an intentional creator, He intentionally loves, and He intentionally moves/works.

““For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared
beforehand, that we should walk in them.””

— Ephesians 2:10

“
“Your way, O God, is holy, What god is great like our God?””

— Psalm 77:13

““For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.””

— John 3:16-17

This kind of intentionality looked so different to me once I started week one of camp. I never realized just how often I would need to be intentional. Everything from how I worded things to the kids, to how I utilized even my free time after camp. Each activity and moment of the day was an opportunity to love others and worship God through my words and actions. When one of the kids felt hurt or sad about something, my response needed to be one of care and compassion. I have come to understand that how I react to things can often, if not always, be felt by the kids. They are impacted by how I choose to be intentional. While I can’t necessarily find out exactly what is bothering them in a lot of those moments where they are hurt, angry, or sad, for example, an incident at home, I can put my best effort towards helping them through the current situation trusting and praying that God will work in the parts I don’t know about.

Another way I think I have been able to be intentional like God is through teaching bible lessons. Though sometimes I felt like the kids weren’t particularly interested at times, one of my Outreach workers, Mila, helped me to understand that what happens in the kids’ hearts and minds is up to God. In other words, that part is out of my control. This was a good time to learn that despite even my best efforts, the results of my intentions are often, if not always, up to God. I have come to appreciate God’s timing as He works at the Kingston-Galloway site and I look forward to seeing what else God has in store. When it comes down to it, being intentional is more than just service or the work we as staff are doing, it has become one of the ways I keep my eyes on God. When I look to Him for each moment, especially the moments I don’t know what to do, I can allow Him to work His own intentionality through me. My hope is that the kids will come to know how intentional God is through how intentional I am with them. I also hope to continue being intentional like this outside of camp as well so that everyone I encounter would come to know how intentional God is as well.

A Season of Discernment

God is faithful. This is exactly how I would describe my experience at Toronto City Mission’s Sonshine Day Camp. As the second half of camp commences, I have felt so much joy in serving the Kingston-Galloway community over the last seven months. Although my physical body feels tired, the Holy Spirit continues to renew me. In week two, I shared a simple message of “We’re all in this together” during our morning staff devotionals. Paul tells us that,

“ “If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together with it.””

— 1 Corinthians 12:26.

With this in mind, I encouraged our staff to have intentional time with each other, sharing their lives – joys, worries, and hopes. I am so grateful to be part of team that is accountable in every aspect of my life.

Throughout these past four weeks, KG has been met with some challenges such as difficult interactions during transportation, sharing spaces on field trips, and utilizing a different space in the community. Yet I see how God is working at KG, protecting us and softening the hearts of the children, who are slowly transforming to be more open to change.

In the background of my life, I am also spending this summer discerning where God is taking me next – with ministry being a potential contender. To be honest, I am fearful of fully submitting myself to what God has in store, similar to the story of Jonah. But God remains faithful. In sharing my journey with people in my life, I continue to experience love and support, being reminded that I am not wandering alone.

““Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ””

— 1 Corinthians 12:12

This is significant because God values people and is aware of their need for one another. He created us to live in community, encouraging each other to give and receive support, which promotes charity and thankfulness. 

What I have loved the most this summer is storytelling and the unexpected questions that follow. I don’t want the children to just accept what they are told, but to challenge and wrestle with the idea of trusting that God has a bigger plan for them. “Why was Jonah angry when God saved the people of Nineveh? Isn’t it a good thing that He showed mercy?” It is in questions like these where humility is displayed, being aware that I don’t have all the answers and we have this perfect opportunity to work together to think about what God means. “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these’” Matthew 19:14. 

Despite experiencing highs and lows, one thing I know for sure is that I am making an impact at KG. And through all of this, God is faithful. May He continue to be present in this community.

Michelle, God and TCM

How I Ended Up Here - Perfect in the Imperfect 

I’m always surprised at how God is working in my life. I heard about this opportunity in passing last year, and by God's grace I ended up here this summer. I'm grateful for always viewing ministry as uplifting and purposeful. For me, being able to work at a christian charity allowed me to intentionally seek out where God was working in all aspects of my life. It was a perfect combination of what I love to do, which is marketing, and being able to do it for a cause that's dear to my heart. So, being able to do this internship was a blessing, I’m still discovering.

Even before I remembered to apply for this internship as a summer office intern I was asked to help out during March Break Camp. I helped out for the day and although I was tired because I still had to go to my part time server job after camp was over, I experienced a great joy. Camp was a drastically different experience than I expected. Growing up in a large church I’m used to handling about 10 kids alone, but at the March Break Camp there were about 25 kids with 5 of us watching over them. I actually had time to play and have conversations with kids one-on-one.

I was overjoyed to meet a girl I'm going to call Emily. Emily was having a really hard time, and reminded me of myself, she was struggling to start a drawing for the camp activity. Emily was frustrated and kept saying that anything she drew would be “no good”, discouraged, I tried to help her start the drawing and then turned to help another young artist beside me. When I turned back to Emily, I found that she was so frustrated she started to rip up her drawing, because like her initial fear, the drawing was simply “no good”. I decided to play hangman with her to help pass the time. I feel like God spoke to me, because I wittily made the answer “love yourself”, and after she got it, she said it was her turn, and made the answer “thank you”. I didn’t realize it at the time but I feel like God really touched my heart then, reminding both Emily and I that there is perfect in the imperfect. I was reminded that chasing a life where everything worked out exactly to be how I planned it to be, was a life not focused on God's plan. I realized every time I tried to do it alone I felt discouraged, but when I continued to focus on God I felt hopeful. It’s amazing how God used just one day of March Break Camp, and my first time at Toronto City mission (TCM) for this lesson. I cherish it even more because other times I returned for the afterschool program, I was surprised but this time with laughter as kids were being kids. A group of young boys decided on our walk to eat leaves, aren’t kids so silly! So Emily’s story remains cemented in me, because even if I didn’t leave an impression on her, she left one in my heart.

Training Week - Finding God in Others

God continued to remind me of His presence, especially during the first couple of weeks of being an intern. I got to do fun social media posts like I always do; from all the introduction posts, multiple reels, website editing, and participating in training with the outreach workers, office staff and interns.

Take a look at what I have created so far!

Introduction/Training Reel

Building Hope Reel

Camp Week 1 Recap

Camp Week 3 Highlights

I’ve been reminded by God and others in the office about the justice of God, and the servanthood of this team as they aren’t here for the money, they’re here for their hopes, purpose, and mission. They are ready to engage with these children knowing some of them don’t come from the easiest of situations, and continue to show them they’re resilient and loved, even when the results of their labor isn’t so automatically seen. I was encouraged by how ready to build relationships, and how much care into building relationships each person has. The team's perseverance, grit and support for each other over the 7 free weeks of camp continues to astound me, as well as their eagerness to make these programs work even with sometimes limited resources.

Having had three weeks of training together, I got to learn and bond with the team. Spending time picking up skills like CPR and reminders like listening to God through nature or the different ways we connect to Him, I was able to discover that my care and energeticness are ways I connect to God. This means that caring for others and expressing myself loudly brings me joy. I discovered the different types of poverty that people can experience asides from financial alone; from spiritual, mental, physical etc. these other types of poverty were good to be reminders to me as I believe we are all poor in something, and that’s why we need God. Meaning, financial poverty alone does not make them different from everyone else, as God has justice, and we all fall short of the glory of God.

Seeking God in the Office

In the team's devos and sharings I’ve been convicted of the reminder to always start with “Being with God before doing for God”, to “Let go, and let God”, and I say convicted because it reminds me of my wrong tendencies for serving. I often get obsessed with completing tasks, focusing more on what needed to get done instead of how God was working and using me in those situations. I carried this with me at youth group, and while serving at my university fellowship last year. I think God is using this time to remind me that there is more to him.

We went more frequently into nature than I expected, and I found I was searching for God's voice more intentionally. I had time to think through my life issues that I haven’t given to God yet. In that way, God continues to grant me confusion so I have time to wrestle with myself instead of relying on others.

Another way God has surprised me was in the beginning of the internship I was having trouble sleeping and so I brought it up to the office staff, they prayed for me and the next day I had very restful sleep.

Lastly, being able to visit the different camp sites reminds me of a feeling that’s hard to put into words other than hopefulness. I continue to hope through all of the challenges and my heart feels fuller knowing that we’re doing something. Maybe it's because I’ve never interacted much with urban ministry, but I’m encouraged there's programs such as this one out there helping make a difference right where I want to be in Toronto.

Heart Wide Open

It has been a blessing serving as a summer intern at TCM this summer at the Kingston-Galloway location. This is my second year serving as a summer camp counsellor at TCM. I decided to return for a second year because I had so much fun interacting with the campers, and interns during my first year. I was able to make unforgettable relationships with the different campers and returned as I wanted to see the kids again, and see how they had grown up since the last time I saw them. It was also great meeting new people who wanted to serve as summer camp counsellors, and building relationships with them during the summer. It has been very rewarding and lots of fun spending time with the campers this year and hearing about the different things that happened throughout the school year since last summer.  

I am glad that I have been able to grow my connections with the campers from last year, and to see them grow from last year to this summer! Two of the campers that attended camp last year have become TLC’s this summer, and it has been great seeing them take leadership roles at camp. They have been such a big help and have worked hard contributing to camp activities. It has also been a pleasure getting to know more about them and to work side by side with them during the day.  At the beginning of camp, some of the campers were shy and were not participating in activities as much. Over the course of camp finishing Week 4, I have seen big transformations as those same campers are now full of confidence and love to participate in the activities we host at camp. It is also encouraging seeing the campers engage in the different Bible lessons and worship we host everyday. I hope that the lessons we teach will stay with them, and help them grow in God’s Word in camp, and outside of camp as well. While interacting with the campers, I can see and hear that camp is a loving, supporting, and safe place where they can spend their days during the summer.  

One of my favourite memories at camp was during our field trip at the Toronto Zoo.  The campers that were placed in my group were very excited about seeing the different animals, and I was glad to see them happy.  Throughout all the walking and the hot weather, the kids did a great job of keeping a good attitude, and spending time in conversation with each other. Another favourite memory is when we go on our swimming field trips. The kids love the water and even though many of them do not know how to swim, they are open to swimming and asking the counsellors for help. It is encouraging seeing campers pass the swimming test even when they did not know how to swim at the beginning of camp. The kids are always so joyful in the pool and always have a great time.    

During camp, I have seen God working in my life in numerous ways. Camp has allowed me to open up my heart more to the kids, and to be able to embrace the silly part of me to both the campers and the other interns working at camp. I have learned to show love to the children the way God has shown love to me day, after day. Something as simple as saying “Good morning!” or “How has your day been?” can mean a lot to a camper. I found talking intentionally, and learning more about the kids is something I have been working on over the course of camp. I think that God has been working on opening my heart to new people and new experiences of which camp has been a great way for me to work on these things.