The Pilgrimage

“Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere”

— Psalm 84:10

Following Christ is a journey. In my previous blog, I wrote about God revealing Himself in our “journey” moments. As I walk into 2024, I continue to think about the journey we all are on as we follow Him. Through much reflection, I’ve come to realize that our only destination on this journey is when we get to be with Jesus in eternity. Every other “destination-like” milestone is just a pit stop along the way. 

This is a challenging concept for me to understand because I love the idea of “being done”. As a list-maker, my favourite thing to do is to complete everything I’ve planned. Both in my work and personal life, I have mental and physical lists of tasks and goals that I strive to complete in a timely manner. I often find myself determined to get things done because I don’t like having a running list of things to do. 

The setback with this type of thinking is that it doesn’t translate well when applied to a relationship with Christ. As stated in my previous blog, I often get disheartened when God puts me through trials because, a) I feel far and set-back from my self-identified destination, and b) I have another “thing” to unpack, process, and endure. 

In this idea of “journeys” and trials, I was taking a Psalms class in school. We were examining Pilgrimage Psalms which are about Pilgrims who journeyed to the temple in Jerusalem yearly.[1] Tremper Longman argues that these journeys are both physical and spiritual since they were going to the place where “heaven met earth”.[2]

While sitting with this concept, God reminded me of the Pilgrimage Psalm, Psalm 84; specifically, verse 10 which reads,“Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere”. In some seasons, I often want to discontinue the call the Lord has given me because of the challenges it comes with; or I try to power through the intense emotions that are tied to trials in order to “get over” it. Yet, every time I face these sentiments, the Lord reminds me of this verse and the endurance of the Pilgrims. They stayed the course to the temple amidst climate barriers, physical obstacles, and spiritual battles. They knew that they had to endure the course and walk the path that got them there. Each day, they faced the challenges and the joys that came their way and kept going. They knew that it was better to walk the path that led to His courts than it was to live a thousand “better” days outside of Him. 

We are called to endure the ongoing struggles that are associated with being a disciple. I’ve had to learn that as we follow Christ, we can’t take the approach of a “list” mindset that strives to “check off” all the challenges so we can finally be done putting in the work. The Pilgrims faced the challenge of travelling to the temple yearly. They did whatever it took, regardless of the weather or how they felt, and didn’t stop after one year of doing it.

Consequently, there will never be a day when I’ll be “done” refining my character and growing deeper in my relationship with Christ. Regardless of what I achieve or where God takes me, I won’t ever get to a place where I can sit back and look at my “to-do” list with the Lord and have nothing there. Nevertheless, He reminds me that it’s OK because we aren’t supposed to be “there”. God hasn’t called us to be perfect or to have it all together. Therefore, the more I fight these experiences and have a “checklist” mindset that strives to get things done, the less I learn and experience God along the way. 

Then, what is being a disciple of Christ? For me, in this season, it’s that our true destination is eternity with Him. As long as we are on this earth, we will never truly “arrive”; and even if we think we have because we achieved a goal or a specific life stage, it’s just a brief pit-stop along the way in light of the Kingdom that is before us. Though we aren’t pilgrims walking towards the temple, we are disciples journeying our way to be with Him in eternity. We are called to walk daily in His presence regardless of what is thrown our way because it is better to persevere one day in His courts than to have a thousand “perfect” days without Him. 

Outreach Worker Perspective

Over the past few years with TCM, my roles have changed quite frequently. I went from being an intern to an Outreach Worker at Kingston-Galloway, to Communications, to an Outreach Worker at Jesse Ketchum. This past year, I took on the role as the Role Model Moms (RMM) Facilitator. Transitioning from working with children and youth to ministry with mothers has been a seamless transition. I firmly believe that God cultivated my love for moms through my past year at Jesse Ketchum. 

Abigaille with Jesse-Ketchum Moms

Working at Jesse Ketchum for the past year allowed me to not only build relationships with the children and youth but also with their parents. Every day, I’d have the opportunity to spend some time with parents during sign-in or sign-out. As a result, this naturally led to taking the moms out for coffee and getting to hear their stories, and my relationship with the moms grew deeper. God provided me with the honour of praying with them, crying with them and celebrating their accomplishments.  

When presented with the opportunity to facilitate RMM, I felt a sense of excitement. I was going to be part of a program that helped mothers gain their GEDs and be a source of encouragement along the way. The main goal of the RMM program is to equip moms with the tools and resources they need to pass the GED through one-on-one volunteering, building their confidence, and teaching them life skills. While doing this, I was excited to care for the moms and remind them that there is hope. God is the author of our story. He is not done with us yet and this is the hope that we continue to relay to our moms. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future””

— Jeremiah 29:11

Though there have been many blessings at RMM, we have also been faced with a major challenge. In September of 2023, we were made aware that the GED was on track to be discontinued in April of 2024. This surfaced a plethora of challenges for us as we had to begin discerning RMM’s next steps. Though we are still unsure of what the future holds, we are trusting that God will bring us clarity and guidance at this time.   

Amidst all of this, I get the unique opportunity to display the love of God to these mothers. I find that they are loving, kind and patient to their children, their partner, and to those around them. I have found that moms are expected to fill a variety of shoes on top of working or in this case, finish their GED. In light of this, I wanted to cultivate a place where they can also feel loved and accepted for who they are. My goal is for them to understand God’s love through the actions that I and our team showed them. 

One of my students had health concerns that came back only after studying for the GED. Her health affected her studies as well as her self-esteem. She would often miss classes due to unforeseen events and appointments which prompted us to communicate with her further to find ways to continue to support her. This was through spending extra time with her, finding extra resources and creating safe spaces for her to share. A major part of my role is to intercede for them and I was given many opportunities to pray with this mom. This led into bigger conversations about her faith and what she believes in. 

My faith has grown as God has modeled His faithfulness in their lives. As I grew closer with these women, they would share their testimonies and become vulnerable with me. When you listen to their stories, you can't help but wonder how they have gotten through life, thus far. The answer, God. God has been faithful in every single step they have taken. He has carved a path for them and is clearly guiding them. He led them to us! And we trust that He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion till the day Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6). 

God’s Unconditional Love

When asked who my favourite child is, I often respond jokingly with “my favourite child depends on the day”. It was a truthful statement as some days the kids are not my favourite and I am sure that some days I am not their favourite person in the world either. I learned that my love was conditional and differed based on their behaviour. I wondered if this is how I viewed God’s love for me. That somehow God’s love towards me would change based on my own works, yet I know this is not true. In Romans 5:8 it says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”.  Praise God His love for us is not conditional on our works as we are sinful human beings. There is nothing we can do to earn God’s love, yet God chose to love us unconditionally. 

This past year God has given me a greater understanding of His fatherly love through serving at Kingston-Galloway. It has been a joy and blessing to watch the kids and youth grow up, but it has also been challenging and heartbreaking walking through various seasons of change alongside them. We strive to make our programs a safe space for kids to be kids in which they are comfortable being themselves. Yet our kids struggle with having a dual identity as they often act completely different outside of our programs. There is immense societal pressure amongst the kids in the community to keep a tough exterior in order to protect themselves. There seems to be a common fear that if you show any weakness or vulnerability you will be bullied or taken advantage of. 

Many of our older kids are at a crossroads in which they must decide which path they want to take as it is impossible to live two completely different lives. They can choose the easier path which succumbs to the negative influence of their peers around them, or perhaps they will choose the narrow path.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”- Matthew 7:13-14.

Yet choosing to follow Jesus will be difficult as they will have to resist temptation and stand up for what they believe in by being set apart from the world. 

Last year our children learned about the fruits of the spirit and we encouraged the kids to show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The kids often found it difficult to understand why they should show love to those who have wronged them. They said “If someone hits me, I will get my get backs (revenge)”. I tried to explain that Jesus teaches us to not seek revenge and instead love our enemies. “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven”- Matt 5:44-45. During the summer, I had to practice what I preached. 

This past summer I was involved in an unprovoked TTC incident in which racial slurs and physical threats were directed at me for no justifiable reason. I prayed that God would give me the wisdom to know what to do to keep the rest of the campers safe in this high-intensity situation. As we debriefed the kids about the situation they were shaken, not out of fear but out of a desire for revenge. This incident did not phase them as it was nothing they haven’t seen before. What surprised them more was how calm I was not to fight back with them despite all that they said and did to me. They could not understand why I did not fight back. But I knew that any retaliation to defend my honour, pride and dignity as an Asian person and human being would have only escalated the problem. It would be selfish to do so as I would have only put everyone else at risk for a moment of the personal satisfaction of getting revenge. It was not worth it.  Although this incident would have justified a physical response according to the kids. I chose to respond to anger with gentleness and self-control. I chose to approach a chaotic situation with peace and patience through the power of the Holy Spirit. My response stuck with two of the individuals on the bus who recognized what they did was wrong. 

As difficult as this TTC incident was, it opened my eyes to see the type of situations the kids deal with on a daily basis and how difficult it is to choose to follow Jesus. I was upset that the kids had to hear their hateful language but I was thankful that the kids were able to witness firsthand the power of the Holy Spirit as I would not have been able to handle this on my own strength. The kids were able to see a different way to respond to hatred which was so countercultural to what they knew. This summer I earned some respect as the kids saw that I practiced what I preached in a real What Would You Do scenario. 

I am not a parent, but I have had a glimpse of what that may look like through loving the kids at KG. I want what’s best for them, yet I know that I can’t shelter them from the world and they must make decisions on their own. I can guide and direct them to the path which will bring them light and life, but they must choose to follow Jesus on their own. Some of our children have started getting in trouble in which they are disobeying their guardians, breaking rules and hanging out with negative influences. It is a difficult situation as the guardians want what is best for their children. Yet the kids often see consequences as an overreaction as they do not fully understand the potential repercussions of their actions. It is difficult for children to understand the heart of a mother/father/guardian as they feel trapped and restricted by rules. Yet rules are meant to protect and preserve morality not to be used to oppress or exploit others. In fact, God’s commandments were to ultimately protect the relationships between people and between the creator and His creation. Hopefully one day our children will come to understand that upholding rules is an act of love, as it would not be truly loving if everything was permissible.  

As I witness the path of life some of my children are choosing to take, it breaks my heart as I know the likely repercussions of their decisions. Due to the nature of our community some of these decisions may have long term impacts on their life, yet how can you fully comprehend the gravity of the situation as a child? I am sure that it hurts God’s heart when we choose to disobey Him and make decisions that will lead us to harm. Yet God would not be very loving if He controlled our lives and made every decision for us as we would no longer have freewill. God is Sovereign and He knows what decisions we will make but he cannot make them for us.

As I work with the children at KG I have a small glimpse of God’s unconditional love as a father. Sometimes I wish I could shelter the kids from the pain, suffering and evil of the world, yet this is not possible. Sometimes I also wish that the children would have a full understanding of the consequences of their decisions, yet this is also not possible. The only thing we can do is plant the truth of the Gospel and show and share the love of Jesus with the limited time we are given with them. Some of our children and youth have come and gone, yet even though they have gone astray they will always be welcomed back with arms open wide. In the same sentiment we also know that even when we sin, make mistakes and go astray we can always turn back to God whose arms are open wide ready to welcome us back home. 

We pray that our children, youth and families will experience the love of God personally. May they know that they are fully known and fully loved by God. We pray that one day they will accept the greatest gift of all, Jesus, as their Lord and Saviour. 

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God's Fondness For The Fragile

Julian was invited into our after-school programs through his cousins this past summer. His aunt was thankful that she was able to register him in camp as she normally helped take care of him in the summer. Julian was highly active and loved playing sports and games with the other kids at camp last summer. This high energy and competitive spirit helped him excel in sports despite being one of the smallest kids in camp. Julian has an innate desire to help others, especially staff and volunteers, and a heart of justice and loyalty to stand up for others. 

When Mila and Carmen, the Outreach Workers at Kingston-Galloway Community, first met Julian, he struggled at adapting to the rules and expectations of the program as it was completely different from what he was used to. Moreover, they challenged him to manage his emotions in healthier ways as he was short-tempered and quick to anger. As he began to build trusting relationships with the staff and volunteers, they learned that his outburst of emotions was often due to a compiling effect of other things going on in his life. 

They tried to find a balance between grace and discipline as they sought to understand how to best meet his needs while ensuring that they maintained a safe and welcoming space for everyone. Like any child, he did not react well when facing the consequences of his actions. The staff and volunteers continued to embrace him with Christ-like love in order to affirm that he is still loved. They reminded him that we can love and forgive one another because Jesus loved and has forgiven us first. 

This year Mila has had the opportunity to volunteer at the local school to support both students and teachers. This also means that she gets to see the kids in our TCM after-school programs at school. They always greet her with smiles and hugs and Julian is one of them. He wasn’t able to join our afterschool program during this school year because of his family pick-up schedule. At school, Mila was pleasantly surprised because she has seen positive changes in his behaviour. He is often found helping the staff, defending the weak and learning to express his emotions in healthier ways. He is now more open to being reasoned with before reacting and is slower to act in anger. Even though it may take a long time, he is slowly trying to be more patient and manage his emotions.

Mila believes that Julian’s small changes in behaviour are evidence of God at work to soften his heart. Despite staff having difficult conversations with him about following rules, Mila was surprised he remembers how much the leaders cared for him and appreciated everything they have done for him. He often reminisces about the good times he had at camp— field trips, new fun activities and eating yummy food. Whenever Mila sees him at school he will often say, “Do you remember when…?” and go on to list various things he did over the summer. 

This year during March Break, Julian returned to our day camp! He especially enjoyed playing basketball, bowling and cooking food. Although he still struggled with his emotions, Mila and Carmen encouraged him not to be discouraged and gave him strategies to succeed. One day, Julian made the smart decision to remove himself from basketball to play in a quieter environment when he knew that he was going to get upset. Julian knew to find Mila when he got upset and it brought joy to her heart knowing that she was someone he could trust to express his emotions in a safe and healthy way. 

Mila and Carmen pray that Julian will know that he is fully loved and fully known by God and that he may know that God can give him the ability to show love, patience, kindness, goodness, patience and self-control. We hope that Julian is reminded of what he learned about God at camp and may one day accept Jesus personally as His Lord and Saviour.

Who is Jesus?

This semester, we are exploring the book of Mark with our youth and trying to delve into the question of "Who is Jesus?" From what they know, they mentioned he was the Son of God, a friend, the person who died and rose again, someone who performed miracles, and a teacher. Was there more to this or was that it? Through the Gospel of Mark lens, the book begins with this - The beginning of the good news about Jesus the Messiah, the Son of God. (Mark 1:1 ESV).  For Mark, Jesus Christ is God's Son, which was quite a strong declaration. Within the same chapter, John the Baptist proclaimed Jesus as this:

“After me will come One more powerful than I, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. I baptize you with water, but He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.”

— Mark 1:7-8 ESV

John the Baptist was preparing people the way for Jesus by having people repent to the Lord through the act of baptism, yet he had a posture of great humility when describing Jesus. Though John was making way for Jesus, Jesus was and is indeed the "way, truth, and the life." (John 14:6 ESV)

In contrast, other views of Jesus could include a martyr, a man, a prophet, or a character in a story and those examples make him detached from reality. If Jesus Christ was a mere man, we are doomed to the brokenness of our own sin. How many animal sacrifices, baptisms and cleansings would we need in order to be right with God, only to have fallen short a few seconds later?

Jesus is the bridge and truly the way between us and God. A righteous, holy, loving God and broken sinful people. How would that work? If there was a distance between us and God, God closed the gap by sending His Son Jesus to dwell amongst us as fully human and fully God. Christ sought out the sick, the rejected, the poor, and the unfavourable. He lived a perfect life submitted to God the Father, yet was also tempted and tried. He died a death we deserved to die, yet taking on the sins of humanity past, present, and future. If he stayed dead, there would be no hope, but he rose again conquering death. By his death and resurrection, we were and are redeemed for eternity. Because he died on the cross for our sins, we are finally right with God with him as the mediator. 

In the Christian view, Jesus can be described and explained in a multitude of ways - many facets. Christ can be your everything, your saviour, a healer, a prophet, and your righteousness. But for me, Jesus Christ is the redeemer and Son of God, the bridge between us and God. Because of Christ, there is hope. The hope is for our youth to understand and experience why Christ is necessary and to make their relationship with Christ their own. 

Who is Jesus to you?