After being a Christian for years, I never thought of doing ministry at all. I had God’s callings before through conversations, encouragement, and inspirations from other people, and many more. However, I always felt that I was not good enough and not in the position to do any of that. I thought that there were many people that could do it other than me. However, this year I felt that God really led me to serve at TCM.
During the interview process, I thought I wasn’t going to get this summer internship as I lacked experience in dealing with kids on a large scale. However, they said that there was an office position available so I was hoping to get that position instead. After a few weeks, I got an answer that I was accepted to be a summer camp leader. Then, the thoughts of being incapable and fear of failure came back. I thought to myself that the office position would be a better fit for me, both career and character-wise.
Meeting other interns was fun and I was glad to get to know them. They all had the passion to share the gospel to the community. However, it grew my insecurities even more because I thought I was the only one without any experience. In the first week of camp, that feeling consumed me and prevented me to focus on getting to know the kids. In addition, I’m not very good in handling a big group. However, my fellow interns were very supportive and our devotions always reminded me that we are working for God and He is there to help us.
On the first day of the second week, I started a devotion that talked about how we should have a mind of Christ. I realized that my mind controlled my whole being for the past week. Therefore, I tried to start each day of camp with a prayer and a devotion to His words. The circumstances didn’t change, but my attitude and heart changed. I began to see how God wanted me to work for the kids and shared His gospel, as I got to know each kid better.
Even though it was getting better, there were a lot of hard times that I experienced with the kids. However, I have seen through my relationships and conversations with the children that God is still working on them. Just like He didn’t give up to call upon me, He also won’t give up working on the kids. As His ambassador, I should have the same hope and faith that the kids will receive His gospel and not give up on each of them.
There’s a verse from one of our bible studies at camp that keeps encouraging me to share the gospel to the kids:
“So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
The children’s curiosity in the bible also encourages me to keep on sharing God’s love towards them. There was a kid who always brings up the topic of Jesus. A while after I told them the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, she asked: “Is God here with us right now?”. I was very surprised to get that question from her because she seems disconnected from most of the programs. It is a reminder to me that God is working in our ministry. It’s not myself that touch the hearts of the kids.
This program also teaches me that I can share the gospel whenever and wherever I am. Seeing God’s love by how He didn’t give up on me after all those rejections I gave, made me want to share the gospel even more. After going through more than half of summer, I feel that there is not much time left for me to serve the children. It made me realize that I don’t know how much time left that I have to share the gospel with people. I now see why God gave me this opportunity to become a leader. He wants me to grow as much as I can both on working skills and spiritually. So I pray that all of us won’t hesitate when it comes to ministry and discipleship. And for those who are already in ministry, don’t ever get tired or hopeless from the result that you see because God has His own plan. We just have to do our best and keep relying on Him alone.