Exploring the Depth of Kindness

In our own lives, a kind person would be seen as nice, generous, thoughtful, and helpful. You can do nice things for people and it reflects a part of the fruit of the Spirit. You can also do nice things for others without having to be particularly religious. The tough part is doing kind things for people who may not be kind to you. Whereas, it is very easy to do acts of kindness to people who are kind to you.  Some people can do acts of kindness without having a positive view of that person. It is almost as if you are tolerating them. 

We have a rule or expectation at our after-school program that says, “Be respectful with your words and actions” and it was easy to remember, but difficult for the kids to apply. When disrespectful words are thrown, kids would retaliate because that’s justice. When explaining to the kids about respect, we try to explain to them that they may not necessarily like each other or be friends, but what are some ways we can try and get along with one another. In a class setting or work setting, you do not have to like the people you work with nor do you have to be friends with them to work with them. Showing kindness could be like that as well. For example, being kind to your coworkers so that they may reap rewards down the road or being kind to the unkind ones so that they get off your back. 

At programs, it’s hard sometimes for the kids to be kind with their words. Whether it’s to intentionally humiliate or harm, protecting their pride or self-esteem as a defense mechanism, it just happens all at the moment. One of the kids asked us why they should be kind when no one is kind to him. Is the purpose of showing kindness to keep the status quo, or preventing a spiraling cycle of word-slinging, or because someone told you so, or is it something else? There was a youth who shared with us that she was kind to others to avoid trouble or to hopefully have those people be kind to her. In truth, kindness does not have to be reciprocated for you to be kind to others. 

The Hebrew word “chesed” is the closest thing to kindness, though it can be seen as merciful as well. There is also the Hebrew word “hesed” which refers to God’s character outlined below in Exodus: 

“The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation” - Exodus 34:6-7

There is a level of depth in the Bible’s definition of kindness where it’s not about just being nice or doing nice things. It encompasses love, compassion, long-suffering, being merciful, and gracious. God’s kindness is demonstrated through the death and sacrifice of His son Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:7). Furthermore, in the New Testament portion of the Bible, kindness is part of the fruit of the Spirit, associated with Christ-like character, and attached to acting out of love (1 Corinthians 13). It requires putting aside the self and hard-heartedness for it to be seen.

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ”

—  Ephesians 4:31-32

Showing kindness can be sacrificial. It means taking a loss on our end. It means long-suffering and patience. But it also can be such a small wonderful gesture that reflects your genuine heart and concern for the other. Just like how God shows his kindness to us. 

How do you define joy?

For the longest time, I let my circumstances dictate my level of joy. To me, joy was merely another word for happiness, an emotion tied to my ever-changing feelings. I remember crying out to God, asking, "Why can't you just make me happy? Change my mind and give me peace. I don't want to deal with this pain and worries anymore."

God had granted us the gift of free will to make our own choices. However, having free will scared me because of my tendency not to want to make mistakes and a distorted thought that regardless of the nature of my decisions, I would always suffer to be disciplined anyway. But then, I realized something profound. Instead of changing my circumstances as I wished, He allowed me to go back to the Bible to demolish the misconceptions I had about God and rebuild my understanding of His true character and my purpose in this life. Through that, I realized He respects our decision and has enough ability to, “in all things, work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” - Romans 8:28.

There was a time when I allowed my weaknesses revealed through difficult times to consume me, trapping myself in a cycle of darkness with no apparent way out. However, reflecting on Paul's time in prison serves as a powerful reminder of the unwavering strength found in the Gospel.

"For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him." - Philippians 1:29 (NLT),

True joy, I've come to understand, doesn't depend on external circumstances but rather comes with my transformed life through Christ's sacrifice and the hope of eternal life in His presence, where pain and sorrow cease to exist (Revelation 21:4).

I recently came across a story during our staff book study, which challenged my perspective on weakness. I learned that while I may still wrestle with lingering feelings from past struggles, it serves as a reminder to continually seek encounters with Jesus and trust in His incomparable strength. Through those times, I grew in an intimate relationship with Him. 

We worry about the unknown for our future, but we are reminded to look at how God sincerely and faithfully has guided us until today and acknowledge His Sovereignty in our lives. He has never left us to navigate life's challenges alone. He also gave us the Holy Spirit to guide our paths and reassure us that He always dwells within us, and we in Him. The knowledge that the Creator of all things loves us and cares for us unconditionally fills us with a sense of joy and security. It's the assurance that no matter what life throws our way, we are safe in His embrace.

I thank God for whatever I have experienced in my life because those times drew me to seek and be closer to God. I pray that you too are able to hold onto the Truth and refuse to let anything take away the boundless joy found in accepting Jesus as our Savior and living a life as a Christ follower! 

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

— Romans 5:1-5 ESV

The Pilgrimage

“Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere”

— Psalm 84:10

Following Christ is a journey. In my previous blog, I wrote about God revealing Himself in our “journey” moments. As I walk into 2024, I continue to think about the journey we all are on as we follow Him. Through much reflection, I’ve come to realize that our only destination on this journey is when we get to be with Jesus in eternity. Every other “destination-like” milestone is just a pit stop along the way. 

This is a challenging concept for me to understand because I love the idea of “being done”. As a list-maker, my favourite thing to do is to complete everything I’ve planned. Both in my work and personal life, I have mental and physical lists of tasks and goals that I strive to complete in a timely manner. I often find myself determined to get things done because I don’t like having a running list of things to do. 

The setback with this type of thinking is that it doesn’t translate well when applied to a relationship with Christ. As stated in my previous blog, I often get disheartened when God puts me through trials because, a) I feel far and set-back from my self-identified destination, and b) I have another “thing” to unpack, process, and endure. 

In this idea of “journeys” and trials, I was taking a Psalms class in school. We were examining Pilgrimage Psalms which are about Pilgrims who journeyed to the temple in Jerusalem yearly.[1] Tremper Longman argues that these journeys are both physical and spiritual since they were going to the place where “heaven met earth”.[2]

While sitting with this concept, God reminded me of the Pilgrimage Psalm, Psalm 84; specifically, verse 10 which reads,“Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere”. In some seasons, I often want to discontinue the call the Lord has given me because of the challenges it comes with; or I try to power through the intense emotions that are tied to trials in order to “get over” it. Yet, every time I face these sentiments, the Lord reminds me of this verse and the endurance of the Pilgrims. They stayed the course to the temple amidst climate barriers, physical obstacles, and spiritual battles. They knew that they had to endure the course and walk the path that got them there. Each day, they faced the challenges and the joys that came their way and kept going. They knew that it was better to walk the path that led to His courts than it was to live a thousand “better” days outside of Him. 

We are called to endure the ongoing struggles that are associated with being a disciple. I’ve had to learn that as we follow Christ, we can’t take the approach of a “list” mindset that strives to “check off” all the challenges so we can finally be done putting in the work. The Pilgrims faced the challenge of travelling to the temple yearly. They did whatever it took, regardless of the weather or how they felt, and didn’t stop after one year of doing it.

Consequently, there will never be a day when I’ll be “done” refining my character and growing deeper in my relationship with Christ. Regardless of what I achieve or where God takes me, I won’t ever get to a place where I can sit back and look at my “to-do” list with the Lord and have nothing there. Nevertheless, He reminds me that it’s OK because we aren’t supposed to be “there”. God hasn’t called us to be perfect or to have it all together. Therefore, the more I fight these experiences and have a “checklist” mindset that strives to get things done, the less I learn and experience God along the way. 

Then, what is being a disciple of Christ? For me, in this season, it’s that our true destination is eternity with Him. As long as we are on this earth, we will never truly “arrive”; and even if we think we have because we achieved a goal or a specific life stage, it’s just a brief pit-stop along the way in light of the Kingdom that is before us. Though we aren’t pilgrims walking towards the temple, we are disciples journeying our way to be with Him in eternity. We are called to walk daily in His presence regardless of what is thrown our way because it is better to persevere one day in His courts than to have a thousand “perfect” days without Him. 

Outreach Worker Perspective

Over the past few years with TCM, my roles have changed quite frequently. I went from being an intern to an Outreach Worker at Kingston-Galloway, to Communications, to an Outreach Worker at Jesse Ketchum. This past year, I took on the role as the Role Model Moms (RMM) Facilitator. Transitioning from working with children and youth to ministry with mothers has been a seamless transition. I firmly believe that God cultivated my love for moms through my past year at Jesse Ketchum. 

Abigaille with Jesse-Ketchum Moms

Working at Jesse Ketchum for the past year allowed me to not only build relationships with the children and youth but also with their parents. Every day, I’d have the opportunity to spend some time with parents during sign-in or sign-out. As a result, this naturally led to taking the moms out for coffee and getting to hear their stories, and my relationship with the moms grew deeper. God provided me with the honour of praying with them, crying with them and celebrating their accomplishments.  

When presented with the opportunity to facilitate RMM, I felt a sense of excitement. I was going to be part of a program that helped mothers gain their GEDs and be a source of encouragement along the way. The main goal of the RMM program is to equip moms with the tools and resources they need to pass the GED through one-on-one volunteering, building their confidence, and teaching them life skills. While doing this, I was excited to care for the moms and remind them that there is hope. God is the author of our story. He is not done with us yet and this is the hope that we continue to relay to our moms. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future””

— Jeremiah 29:11

Though there have been many blessings at RMM, we have also been faced with a major challenge. In September of 2023, we were made aware that the GED was on track to be discontinued in April of 2024. This surfaced a plethora of challenges for us as we had to begin discerning RMM’s next steps. Though we are still unsure of what the future holds, we are trusting that God will bring us clarity and guidance at this time.   

Amidst all of this, I get the unique opportunity to display the love of God to these mothers. I find that they are loving, kind and patient to their children, their partner, and to those around them. I have found that moms are expected to fill a variety of shoes on top of working or in this case, finish their GED. In light of this, I wanted to cultivate a place where they can also feel loved and accepted for who they are. My goal is for them to understand God’s love through the actions that I and our team showed them. 

One of my students had health concerns that came back only after studying for the GED. Her health affected her studies as well as her self-esteem. She would often miss classes due to unforeseen events and appointments which prompted us to communicate with her further to find ways to continue to support her. This was through spending extra time with her, finding extra resources and creating safe spaces for her to share. A major part of my role is to intercede for them and I was given many opportunities to pray with this mom. This led into bigger conversations about her faith and what she believes in. 

My faith has grown as God has modeled His faithfulness in their lives. As I grew closer with these women, they would share their testimonies and become vulnerable with me. When you listen to their stories, you can't help but wonder how they have gotten through life, thus far. The answer, God. God has been faithful in every single step they have taken. He has carved a path for them and is clearly guiding them. He led them to us! And we trust that He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion till the day Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6). 

Executive Director Message

Dear friends of Toronto City Mission,

Happy belated New Year to you, and warm greetings from Toronto City Mission! I hope you were able to take some time over the holidays to refresh, renew and rejuvenate. Further, I hope you are ready and eager for the opportunities and challenges that await you for 2024!

It is an exciting time here at TCM! This month we welcomed new field placement students from local colleges, a new year-long intern, and one of the moms in our Role Model Moms program has achieved academic excellence by successfully completing her GED certification! Moreover, Outreach Workers are busy hosting children's and youth programs in each of our ministry communities. We ask that you keep our Outreach Workers in your prayers, as they endeavor to teach, mentor, model and joyfully lead programs. Pray also that they continue to build healthy, and trustworthy relationships with parents.

As we live these early weeks of the year, we are reminded that winter is the harshest and coldest season. The days are shorter and the nights are longer. As we spend more time indoors, this gives all of us considerable opportunities to reflect on the year gone by and also approach this coming year with greater purpose and intentionality.

As we begin another new year, we need to strive to be more hopeful about the world around us. The story of Joshua gives us pause for thought. As Joshua was about to lead God’s people into the promised land, he of course had reasons to be fearful. He had a huge assignment ahead of him, and was well aware of the hazards he and his people would be up against. He required God’s encouragement. Similarly, for us, a new year brings plenty of questions. What will our marriage be like? Will I have good health? Will the economy improve? Will there be any unexpected personal trauma? Will there be natural disasters? And will there be peace in the world? God, our extraordinary encourager says to us “do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.” As whatever will happen in the coming year is definitely not left to chance. But rather God is in charge, and He promises to stay close to us,” the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) God follows these encouraging sentiments with a related passage in Matthew 28:20, “and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” So as we look at the year ahead of us, may we look forward with the hope and encouragement God lovingly provides for us!

Friends, thank you for your prayers and continued support of Toronto City Mission! May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, and may the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace. 

Joyfully in His Service,

Elliott Shin | Executive Director